What you should know about libido
Everyone knows the word libido but not all know what it means. And this lack of knowledge has created a lot of libido myths. We must bust these myths. Below are 12 interesting facts about libido.
No patient was hurt during studies conducted by psychologists and sex therapists ))
1. Libido and sexual desire are not always the same
Some people are able to have sex but they are not willing to. Or on the contrary, they want but their body doesn’t respond to physical contact and touches. Why does it happen? The mechanism has not been studied in detail yet but it is known that both situations are completely normal. A scientist and sex therapist L. Levkoff explains that people are not aware that libido is 50% of desire and 50% of sexual arousal. These two feelings (we can call them mental and physical) do not always occur at the same time.
2. Different forms of libido
We tend to believe sometimes that there is a magic bullet for the desire to occur – you want sex and you immediately get aroused. This is wrong. All people are different and everyone has their own erogenic zones. People respond to gentle touches when a partner caress them and sexual desire occurs. There are no criteria for this. Desire may occur unexpectedly or during the process of arousal. It all depends on the atmosphere and emotional state.
3. Say “no” to low self-esteem!
It is a long-established fact that each person is unique with their own opinions and preferences. What is normal for one is absolutely unacceptable for the other. The same is true for libido – there is no normal desire or average and low desire. Never worry about you being different. The fear of not meeting the requirements of others can lead to low self-esteem which is directly associated with your sex life.
4. Lower libido does not mean frigidity
If you want to have sex but your partner is not interested, it does not mean that he went cold on you. Several factors can contribute to the lack of sex drive. One of the factors is low libido of your partner and your appearance, attractiveness and the fact that you are open to ideas in bed are not the problem. Just accept the fact that all people are different.
Sex drive may fluctuate for several reasons and one of them is medications especially, hormonal drugs. Libido also depends on chronic diseases such as diabetes, polycystic ovarian disease or hormonal imbalance. Anyway, if you noticed sudden changes in your libido, consult your doctor.
6. Stress and libido
Scientists conducted several studies and showed that stress affects libido. R. Dardik, the obstetrician and gynecologist from the NYU Langone Health, claims that the more woman is vulnerable to stress, the less desire she has. Even career change or irregular sleep, worries about her body and other things can lower libido. If your libido started to decrease only recently, think what changes occurred in your life.
7. Sex desire in seniors
A person is constantly changing during his or her life. People gain life and sexual experience, learn new things. Libido also naturally fluctuates. Raquel Dardik explains that during the menopause, women often lose interest in sex. It is associated with physical changes in her body and vagina. Intercourse brings pain and discomfort.
8. Desire and gender
Today we can find a lot of wrong information about sexual desire and gender. For example, it is generally believed that men want sex all the time and women always use headaches as an excuse to refuse sex. There is another myth: if a woman wants sex, she shouldn’t show it because it’s so embarrassing to initiate sex. These are all stereotypes we shouldn’t believe. Sexual desire does not depend on a person’s gender.
9. Libido and orgasm are two different things
If you have a sexual desire, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will have an orgasm. Something may distract you from an amazing sex and you don’t reach an orgasm. On the contrary, if the partner knows what to do during sex, a person may reach an orgasm even if he or she was not in the mood for sex.
10. Sexual desire and worries about sex
Each person failed in sexual intercourse, at least, once in their life. It’s ok and you should never give up on sex, don’t think about your negative experience. And doesn’t mean that you have a low libido. Learn your body and what you want from your partner.
Levkoff believes that if you don’t have any sexual desire but you had great sex with your partner, it will be your motivation. Having a low libido and negative experience with sex, you will naturally try to avoid it.
11. How to increase sexual desire
Before you try to boost your libido, find out the reason. Often one of the partners is doing his or her best to meet the high demands of another partner.
Dardik says that such couples should visit a sex therapist to find out the root of the problem and solve it. Often the cause of sexual issues is not in physiology but in your head.
Conclusion:libido issues are psychological.
12. Do we need to change libido
To notice changes in your libido, you should learn to understand your own desires. Think about your behavior and answer the following questions honestly. Do you masturbate? How often? What helps you to arouse? Answering these questions, you will be able to notice changes and if necessary, consult a specialist.